I don't want your damn lemons. What am I supposed to do with these?

We know that Cave Johnson would get his engineers to build a combustible lemon after confronting life's managers. Sadly this isn't something that possible, so we're stuck taking action in other ways.

In case of life, pull pin and throw.

I've recently found out what it's like to be on the other side of seeing a person struggle through invasive surgeries. I'm quite honestly not sure how to approach this subject while on the other side of treatment, but I'm hoping that I can unpack some of those feelings.

A few days ago I found out that a friend had a brain tumor after taking a wicked spill and suffering a grand mall seizure while out with his fiancée. These are people who are important in my life. They gave me so much strength while going through cancer treatment, and I now sit on the other side, wondering what will happen to someone that I care for. He successfully made it through the first surgery, but there was news that they didn't get all of the masses and will have to operate again.

The emotions that I've felt since then have been all over the map. Anger that someone who I respect and admire in a lot of ways is lying helpless in a hospital bed. Fear that I will never see him again, or how to approach his fiancée, another great friend and someone who was there for me through even the hardest times in my cancer treatment. The helplessness of being unable to help in any way. This one is the toughest to cope with right now, as I've only been able to understand this from the opposite side. The observer is hard, and I want nothing more than to be able to help in some way.

It really is a reminder to me of how little time that we have on this planet, and how I haven't been taking advantage of that recently.

I fear losing someone who I care deeply for, but ultimately I have zero control over the situation. I now realize why some people just couldn't cope with what I was going through last year, and why so many people disappeared from my life when things got VERY real and VERY hard. Upon really understanding that behavior, it doesn't make it hurt any less.

My wishes go out to Jason and Carrie. I love the two of you so much.