Early morning sandwiches, board games, and a brain that just won't stop.

I woke up at 2:15 this morning. Not because my alarm clock started blaring music, that would have been too easy. I was famished. After a bit of tossing and turning, I decided to get up and make a sandwich to see if a little food would put my body at ease. What I didn't realize straight away was that my brain wasn't playing Operation with my body. I made my sandwich, sat down, then turned on my computer to see if I could find anything to put my mind at ease and help me get a few more hours of sleep.

I ate, tinkered, then put something on, tossed and turned, then decided to take a shower. Within 15 minutes I'd run out of things to keep myself busy. Balls. I realized that my internal pendulum had swung from being exhausted 22 hours a day to full blown mania. This infusion of energy and desire to be productive was mixed with epic levels of ADD. The energy was welcome, even if ill timed, but picking up my phone, only to wonder why my phone was in my hand causes me a fair bit of frustration. This was 12 hours ago, and I still haven't finished writing anything worthwhile. One or two sentences in, then switch tabs on my browser just to see if someone updated their status on facebook at 4:00. Nothing new. Once again lost in a sea of confusion and inability to focus. This has been my day. Even work is a struggle. Something that I generally glide through without much work became a chore. Not even imgur could keep my attention today.

Fuck. What was I writing about again? Something something something, dark side, something something... good. Nope. That's not it. What was I here for? Why did I start writing this post? I'm not sure, but I remember driving to work today and seeing mountains in every direction. Sure it was a solitary guard in the North and South, but damnit, they were beautiful. They made me smile. I'm not sure why, but I started to cry a bit. Thankfully the leaking stopped quickly, the 405 isn't the greatest place in the world to lose focus of what's happening around me.

That's it. What did I get to enjoy today? The mountains.

Unfortunately, around 8, the zaps were back, annoying as ever, but for a few hours, no matter how cluttered, I didn't feel like my body was trying to play Operation with itself.

Let's see what happens when we pick the brain!

This will pass. It always does. I just don't know when, and that sucks. I want my body to email me and tell me when I can schedule it to function properly so I can start looking for a new job, or at least try to figure out what the hell I'm going to do at the end of the month. What will I do? I'm not sure, but I do know that I don't have the mental capacity to deal with that right now.

Mmm. Mountains. Baker in the North. Rainier in the South. Solitary guardians, or so they feel today. I love their beauty. I love my little home here in the Seattle area, but I wonder how much longer it will really feel like home. It seems like such a good time to just pack everything up and go somewhere. I don't have the means to accomplish something like that, but damn it sounds like such a good idea. Ten minutes from now it might not. It's probably best not to make any long term decisions in this state of mind, no matter what adventure they might take me on.